When I’m a mum…
Luke and I have been watching Gilmore Girls from start to finish. We’re up to the end of Season 5, nearly finished the whole set.
I was thinking about the relationship that Rory and Lorelei have, and how I could possibly cultivate a similar relationship with my children, when Luke and I have them.
Rory was an exceptionally good girl, and this helped their relationship a LOT. This is evident by the fact that now that Rory is making some more questionable decisions, the relationship between them is not so great. But I think that Lorelei’s initial behaviour with Rory would have been a huge influence on her ‘goodness’. In particular Lorelei’s reaction to things.
Largley due to Lorelei’s immaturity she would have never been much of a strict, punishing parent, and to be completely honest if it wasn’t a TV show, I don’t think it would have worked out for them. But back on subject: is there something to learn from not yelling at your kids when they do something wrong? Particularly if it were an accident. I know that it’s just a reaction to do that- you’re frustrated that the cup broke, now you have one less, you’re worried that someone might stand on the glass and cut themselves, you’re annoyed that your morning isn’t going to plan anymore. But, hang on, it’s just an accident…
I was thinking about when Rory was older, and Lorelei’s reaction to things, I think, is the reason for their good relationship. That, and open communication. I think that a parent explaining how they feel about a situation can be such a powerful thing. I remember once, when I was 11 or 12, and I was shopping for clothes with my mum. This was around the time when that ‘bad boy’ and ‘bad girl’ brand was in. I wanted a T-shirt that said “Bad Girl” on it, because it was hip and fashionable. My mum didn’t let me buy it, but instead of just saying no, she said to me, “Talia, I don’t want you to be a bad girl. You’re a beautiful, wonderful, good girl, and I wouldn’t want you to put something on yourself that’s not true. Do you want to be bad?” How the hell could I possible say ‘yes’ to that? She told me her reason, and for one reason or another, it stuck. Even to this day I am consious of what the t-shirts I have say.
I remember one time, when I was younger, my family was having lunch at the Love’s, friends of my parents. They’re youngest daughter dropped the plate she was carying to the dishwasher that had all the scraps on it. Instead of yelling or being upset, Cathy, her mum, just picked it up, asked her if she was okay, and asked her to get a cloth so they could clean it up. Together.    I stood there in awe. I thought it was wonderful. She had made a mistake, and her mum had just… helped her! I think that this is a great example of what we should try to be like as parents, realising that our kids are only kids, and that mistakes, and accidents happen. The important thing, I think, is that we talk to them afterwards about the mistake they’ve made and help them to not do it again.
I guess the question is, how do we help them not to do it again?
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September 18 2007 01:54 pm | Reflective and Talia's Life
September 18th, 2007 at 2:44 pm
Good post, and I agree with everything, except the strange concept that the Gilmore Girls is only a TV Show. Don’t you know it’s real?
But anyway, the way you have been looking at baby’s in church, and the way you wanted to go see the swimming ones at open day, and the way you’ve been talking about name’s, and now this blog post… maybe you should let up on talking about babies for a while, you’ll give people ideas.
September 18th, 2007 at 10:14 pm
I don’t think Rory ever was a child. i think she was a baby and then became a teenager. yep. I just watched the Dead poets society and a boy kills himself because his stupid father wants him to become a doctor and AHHHHHHHHHHH! makes me so ANGRRRRY.