Haunted…

September 20th, 2009

I’m not really sure how to start this post, write in it, or end it… all I know is that the other night I met up with a friend of Luke’s who I haven’t seen in years. He asked me if I still painted, and when I said no, he just looked down at the table, nodded his head, and said “that’s a shame”.

And now I’m stuck, and I keep playing it over and over in my head. That was who I was. Such an integral part of me, and now it… isn’t? And someone actually think’s that that’s a shame? How did that HAPPEN??????????

… and I just don’t know what to think, or how to feel, or what to do…

I guess I’m disappointing in myself? Angry with myself? But I’m also tired and unmotivated.

Lately I’ve thought about painting every day. And I’m scared that I’ll never do it again. But every day I go to work, and I make dinner when I get home, and I think to myself, “Talia, be a better wife and clean something for goodness sake!“, and I clean something small, or watch TV with Luke, or just generally waste my time.

I let every day slip away, and I do nothing with it.

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View Comments to “Haunted…”

  1. Bonnie
    September 20th, 2009

    so … get out your paintbrushes girl !! just do it !! take all that passion and put it on a canvas !!
    .-= Bonnie´s last blog ..Straight Out of Garden … and Camera =-.

  2. Fanie
    September 20th, 2009

    Yes, like Bonnie said. :-)
    If it matters all that much to you, then this means there’s something under. Why are you fighting against it? Only you can answer that.
    Grab a brush and see what happens. :-)
    .-= Fanie´s last blog ..Dr. Sketchy Montreal 2nd anniversary =-.

  3. Peter Wilson
    September 20th, 2009

    I know just what you mean and how your feel, 2 years ago someone asked me if i still did Mime and I said no and WOW what I slap in the face i got from them “What don you mean NO, your like the best Actor Mime and …..” they when on and on…

    But it took a little more then that toget me back on track with Acting and Mime… I worked out that i wasn’t happy because i had stopped… so this is what i say to you… do it even if its only once a week or once a month, try and set some time aside if you can…

    :)

  4. Talia
    September 20th, 2009

    Thanks Pete- it’s good to know someone understands!

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